Students are diligently studying for midterms or handing in those papers you just happened to do at the last minute. Daydreams consist of lying on a beach in Florida, or just on a beach somewhere warm–obviously with a beer in hand.
Those of you participating in this strange rite of passage for college students, dubbed “spring break college style,” will be subject to heavily drinking, hooking up, and getting tan or burnt on some beach. If you haven’t yet, I suggest you start thinking about how you will survive this much-awaited trip.
Here are some tips for girls and guys on how to ‘train’ for a week of drunken hot-messes and memories you might regret.
Time to tan
For starters, girls make sure to get your tan on. If you see those girls who happen to be a slightly different color than yourself (i.e. Tan or Cheetos-bag orange) ask them where the best tanning salon or what products they use for that ‘summer glow.’ Many of my friends like to call this period of time before spring break, “Taneroxic” time. Girls invade tanning salons, stop eating, and oddly everyone seems to be at the gym more frequently. I don’t personally think this is the best idea. But, I suppose whatever works to make you look like those Victoria Secret models. Oh, don’t forget purchasing the newest line of string bikini. Boobs out butt partially showing, possibly invest in a cover up. On second thought, who needs a cover up, everyone will be so drunk there will be no need for one!
Guys, I suppose you could get your tan on. Just don’t get too orange, trust me, girls will notice. If your not one for the fake bake, just go get your swoll on at the REC. Or invest in P-90X. Your beer gut will not look attractive in swim trunks. But, if your lazy maybe you could score with a girl who is rockin’ some beer goggles on the beach. (Read: she would be drunk enough not to care what you look like).
For those of you who have experienced the nightlife here at the University of Iowa you may know how crazy and wild the nights here end up being. Or at least you hear about what you did. This spring break may be the super bowl of all those crazy drunk nights. So keep these tips in mind while your partying.
Drunk Drama
Tip 1: What to do when you wake up next to a stranger. Ideally, you want to find your belongings as quietly as possible in hopes to not wake the stranger next to you. If successful, high-tail it out of there to try and then work on figuring out where you are.
However, if you fail to get out of the situation without the other person noticing here are some ways to get out of that situation.
If you forgot his or her name just act like you know it. Say you had a nice time last night, find your belongings, and mention you are late to meet your friends at the hotel.
If he/she insists you see each other again either say it was a drunk mistake that you hooked up in the first place or say you have a boyfriend/girlfriend and this never should have happened.
Feeling nice? Try something like ‘I had a lot of fun sure maybe we will see each other around.’ Give him/her your number with the intention to never call. Or as a last resort, give a fake number.
Tip 2: Keep track of personal items. Many of us tend to be forgetful which leads to lost money, missing I.D.’s and phones ruined. Here’s what you’re belongings go M.I.A.
A.) Try not to bring any valuable items with you because you will be drunk on a beach and lose everything.
B.) Make some kind of makeshift pocket in your swimsuit so you when you wake up, you can quickly find your money and ID.
C.) Determine a meeting place with your friends for the next morning. One to forget all those pesky details? Bring a permanent marker and write down your hotel name and address.
If you fail to do these tips with your belongings, well good luck to yah my friend. You’re probably screwed.
Tip 3: Remeber what your parents say.
If your parents have told you this one already, I suggest you follow it. Drink plenty of water, wear sunscreen, and bring loads of ibuprofen.
Tip 4: The Buddy System
If your drunk-self decides to take a dip in the ocean as a rebel move, please don’t be stupid, go with friends or someone not as drunk as yourself whom you trust. This trip is a party but lets be smart people.
Tip 5: Watch your drink
The Hangover I or II anyone? Drinks do get spiked and people do get taken advantage of, but not in the fun way Hollywood portrays it.
Tip 6: Condoms, Condoms, Condoms
Need I say more?
Hopefully these tips are helpful to those of you participating in a week full of having the time of your life but not necessarily remembering all of it.
Have fun, be smart, and good luck!
Image from: platformmag
Staff